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Season #1 Episode #75

Most problematic behaviors are driven by an unmet need. So the question is not what to do, but rather, what’s the cause?”

In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m focusing on one of the most common questions I get in my coaching practice. Many parents ask how they should respond to particular behaviors of their children. They ask, “What should I do when my child behaves like…” I can tell in their questioning that they are looking for a tool, trick, or fitting punishment/consequence to match and solve the behavior. However, what they should be asking instead is, “What is driving this behavior?” When parents can name the cause of the behavior, then they will realize they know how to respond.

Points we will discuss include:

  • Six essential needs our children have
  • What it looks like when these needs are met and unmet
  • How to determine and respond to our children’s needs 

Parents, remember that it’s not about “what to do when…” That’s the wrong question. Asking that question is causing you to lose your sense of intuition and direction. Instead, it’s about asking what unmet need is driving the behavior. I invite you to put on your 3D Parent lens and determine what unmet need is causing the behavior and then provide the answer by meeting the need.

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