Remote Learning Reality CheckMay 19, 2021
“The reality check is if your child is in a state of alarm, there’s no learning happening anyways.”
This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, I am going to share seven actionable steps that you can take right away so you can bring back control as a parent in navigating remote learning.
Some of the topics covered in this episode include:
- My personal experience and struggle with remote learning as a parent and what I learned during those valuable moments.
- Seven actionable tips: a hybrid of reality checks and actionable steps you can take TODAY to get ahead of remote learning.
- The most imperative thing to prioritize in relation to remote learning and today’s climate.
Juggling the work-from-home set-up and remote learning for our children can easily get overwhelming, especially with the uncertainties brought about by the pandemic. In this episode, I’m going to share seven suggestions and reality checks for parents to get a hold of remote learning more easily, as well as my personal experiences and struggles with remote learning.
Things You Will Learn
[01:15] This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, we’re going to have a reality check about remote learning. I’m sure that a lot of parents out there can relate to this topic as most of us have ventured to remote learning. And like most of you, I, too, was not particularly jazzed about remote learning. Aside from the fact that I was still recovering from the struggles we had last spring trying to adjust with remote learning, the uncertainty of not knowing when everything will be back to normal makes everything more overwhelming than it needs to be.
[06:44] Additionally, one of the factors that make remote learning difficult for children is that it is not an ideal place for connection to flourish. Deep connection, which is one of the D’s in 3D Parenting, is highly important for kids, especially highly sensitive children. They need to connect and bond with their teachers to feel safe and ultimately, to be open to learning. During normal circumstances, it takes around six weeks before kids can get into the state of attachment and connection with their teachers. Unfortunately, with remote learning, it takes more time for this bond and connection to take place.
[11:12] With that said, I want you to know that you are not alone in the struggle of figuring out remote learning while handling all of the challenges brought about by the pandemic. In this episode, I’m going to offer some suggestions as a bit of a reality check, and hopefully, it will give you some ease in navigating remote learning.
[15:11] My first tip: set a routine and stick to it unless you’re getting derailed, in which case, be flexible and throw out the routine. I know it may seem confusing, but it’s a reality check. Routines are great and helpful, and if it’s working for you, stick with it. It gives children a sense of security and normalcy. But for some, their routines may not be working due to curveballs popping up here and there. In that case, it is okay to make adjustments even if it means throwing your schedule for that day out of the window.
[18:28] However, being flexible doesn’t mean giving up control. As a parent, you always have to stay in the lead. Don’t beg, threat, or bribe your child for compliance. As I mentioned before, you have to have some flexibility in terms of your routines when those obstacles come up, but you need to be the one to make decisions throughout the day. Do so with confidence, and as much as possible, without communicating a sense of exasperation to your child.
[18:57] My second tip for you guys is to ask for help. You don’t have to struggle alone. If your child is not engaged, not willing to participate, or needing extra support from teachers, reach out and communicate. Most likely than not, the school is willing to work with your needs and adjust with it as much as they can. If they refuse to be flexible even with the exceptional circumstances that we are all experiencing, then you may have to make some bold, tough choices. This may mean looking up homeschooling or checking out other alternative learning opportunities for your child.
[22:53] If you have a child that has learning differences, be proactive, and advocate early for your child. That’s our third tip for today. With the shift towards remote learning, your child who has learning differences might need to update his learning plan so that their learning needs will be met accordingly. Don’t wait for your child to fall through the cracks before you update his learning plan. I guarantee that you will regret it if you fail to do this. So reach out to relevant authorities as early as you can.
[25:34] Tip number four: I encourage you to make a homework survival kit where all your child’s materials will be organized accordingly. As simple as it may sound, it is really helpful in terms of avoiding the hassle for both parents and children. Finding specific materials needed for school work can be overwhelming for children, and failure to acquire materials might get your child to shut down even before they can start their work. This homework/schoolwork survival kit will help avoid that type of situation.
[27:38] For tip number five: Incorporate gadget-free breaks for your kids as much as you can. Our children need movement, play, nature, and a whole lot more which cannot be found on our gadget’s screen. Set a maximum of 45 minutes of screen usage, but ideally, less than that if the situation permits. Otherwise, your kids are prone to suffer from behavioral and physiological issues.
[28:22] I also advocate for parents to teach their children how to pack their school lunches. That will be the sixth tip. It is exhausting to hear constant cries of hunger all day long. But if you teach your child to be dependent even with simple things such as packing their snacks and lunches, it already takes a lot of exhaustion out of your plate.
[32:13] Concerning tip number six, be aware of the distinction of cries for hunger and cries for connection. Your children aren’t truly starving every 15 minutes. That is not physiologically possible. Often than not, their hunger cry is a cry for connection. Being tied to screen all day long can make your kids feel disconnected and asking for food might be their way of communicating that. So make sure that you can meet your child’s need for connection.
[33:23] And for my last tip for this episode: remember that you are a parent first and an assistant teacher second. If you have a good relationship with your child, shifting into the assistant teacher mode should come at ease. So focus on nurturing your relationship with your child above all else. Sometimes, that means seeking out services of a parent coach like myself, asking a therapist for help, or reaching out to your village of support.
[38:29] The most important thing to keep in mind is that we are living through a collective trauma right now, so we must give ourselves and our children a lot more grace and a lot less judgment. You have to permit yourself to put the needs of your child’s overall well being ahead of the societal standards of traditional learning.
Quotes From Episode 48
“Always stay in the lead. Don't ask your child for permission or beg for their compliance or start threatening or bribing your child. You're going to have to keep swerving around those obstacles as they come up. But you need to be the one to make the decision.”
“Do not sacrifice your child’s emotional needs in the name of education or school expectations.”
“Know that those constant cries for hunger are most of the time bids for connection.“
“Remember that you are a parent first and an assistant teacher second. Do not forget to parent with warmth and encouragement and connection.”
“You cannot parent your child with the intentions of a 3D parent if you're running on empty.”
“We all need to lean on our mother right now and bail each other out when we are sinking.”
“We're living through a collective trauma right now, so let's not lose sight of that. Let's give ourselves and our children a lot more grace and a lot less judgment.”
“The reality check is if your child is in a state of alarm, there's no learning happening anyways.”
Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.
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