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Welcome to the 3D Parent Podcast!

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.

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Q & A - Your Questions Answered

May 19, 2021

“Interest in doing something that might be a little bit hard, but you've pushed through, gosh, that's where the self-confidence and the resilience can really, really grow.”

 

This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, I will be answering questions from you, the parents, around situations that are particularly difficult for you at this moment in your parenting journey.

 

The topics we will be covering today range from struggles with consistently having your baby sleep through the night to having to set boundaries with your 16 year old regarding vaping marijuana.  We will also touch on working through anxiety in children and tips for dealing with the “it’s not fair” argument.

 

I hope you enjoy this episode and can take away some useful tips!  Look for full length episodes regarding some if these topics in the future!

 


 

Things You Will Learn

[2:15]  On this episode of the 3D Parent Podcast, I will be answering some of your parenting questions.  The first question we will cover is regarding how to support your child through times of anxiety.  First, I want to say this is not uncommon.  There has actually been an increase in younger children experiencing anxiety.  But it can be difficult to share from your personal experience when you haven’t experienced anxiety.

[3:23]  In this case, talk with your daughter and try to identify what triggers her anxiety.  If you can identify the triggers you can come up with a plan to address it.  If she seems to have generalized anxiety, I encourage you to talk with her pediatrician.

[4:26]  The next step after identifying triggers, would be to normalize her fears and nervousness.  Also, instill in her that you are here to help and are confident you can work through her worries with her.

[5:23]  To increase her resilience and self-confidence, I’d encourage talking through those things that cause her anxiety, but refer to the good part of those scenarios, or the parts she may desire to be a part of.  When desire becomes greater than fear, that is where her confidence and resilience will come from.

[7:52]  The next question comes from a mom of 3 looking for help in managing the, “it’s not fair” monologue on repeat.  Luckily, I am not unfamiliar with this phrase myself, so I have some tips and tricks.

[8:37]  Tip #1: Don’t let this behavior trigger you or set you off.  Instead, validate your child’s feelings, as hard as that can be.  Let him know you know this is hard.

[9:14]  Tip #2: Stop trying to make things fair.  As parents, we tend to play into this.  But life isn’t fair, so we can validate their feelings and let them know we hear them, but it doesn’t change the situation or mean that it will become “fair.”

[10:45]  Tip #3: Play into the hierarchy that exists in families with more than 1 child.  For example, yes, the older kids get more privileges but also more responsibility.

[13:40]  Lastly, you can model your own acceptance of disappointment and frustration to show your kids how to graciously accept things not working out.  Another good way to help kids understand “fairness” is to let them volunteer in the community.

[16:09]  The next question comes from the mom of an almost 16 year old, who is vaping and using marijuana, but thinks it is not a big deal because it's legal in neighboring states.  I am not okay with him using it, and I am not okay with it being in my house, but I am afraid setting such firm boundaries will stir up previous depressive symptoms.

[17:57]  My recommendation in this situation is to set that firm boundary.  Your child needs you to be the parent, first and foremost, not their friend.  And he may be angry with you initially but that is something you just need to make peace with.  If you start to see a recurrence of his previous symptoms, get him the support he needs, but it is not because you set a boundary.

[19:56]  The last question for today is from a mom of a 14 month old asking how to get her baby to sleep through the night.  She goes down fine, but wakes up around midnight and won’t go back to sleep.

[22:44]  Get curious about your child and why this might be happening.  Your child is trying to communicate with you.

[23:39]  What it seems she is getting out of the nursing relationship, and what she is most likely needing, is the closeness she is getting from it.

[25:16]  Some things to keep in mind: this is not forever, it is just a phase.  Also, be so intentional about taking time during the day to connect with your child.  Hopefully, this will fulfill her needs during the day and allow you to get some sleep at night.  But this won’t be forever, and usually just when we think we can’t do it anymore, that is when it starts to get better.

 

  


 

Quotes From Episode 16

“Interest in doing something that might be a little bit hard, but you've pushed through, gosh, that's where the self-confidence and the resilience can really, really grow.”

“Your fear around setting boundaries and causing him to have a recurrence of suicidal ideology, that is something that I want you to really reconsider here. Your child needs you to be the mama bear. He is an out of line cub and he needs you to be that strong momma bear who is going to check him and say, ‘uh-uh, not in my home, not OK by me.’”

“But there's something else, obviously, that comes from this nursing relationship and that is contact and closeness. And that is a relevant need.”

 


 

Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.

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About Your Host

I’m Beaven Walters, your host and guide on this crazy and fulfilling journey as a parent.

As a certified parent coach, parent educator and mom of 4 children, I am passionate about helping parents navigate the tough stuff while maintaining dignity, direction and deep connection in your family relationships.  I have spent over 10 years teaching in a variety of educational settings with multiple age groups, and now I am delighted to bring those experiences to you at home. Throughout this podcast, we will cover topics such as tantrums, sibling conflict, screen time overload and transitioning into the teenage years.

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone.

I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.