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Welcome to the 3D Parent Podcast!

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.

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Early Socialization Of Young Children

May 19, 2021

“You don’t need to seek out preschools and daycare for your children to become socialized. It can still be a great fit for your family but remember it’s not something you need to do.”

 

This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, I will be talking about young children and their socialization needs. I want to address a few myths, one of the biggest being, that daycares and preschools are the way to develop your children socially. I will also dive into the importance of the adults your children are surrounded by, and the role this plays in the socialization development.

 

We will go over topics such as:

  • How peer interactions are not key to early socialization of young children.
  • Weighing the pros and cons of a daycare or preschool environment for your child.
  • The main ways your child is influenced to develop socialization skills. 

 

My hope is that this episode brings you peace of mind if you are a parent who has been feeling pressure to put your child in a preschool or daycare environment simply to promote socialization. Remember, you are what your child needs in order for them to reach their full potential! 

 


 

Things You Will Learn

[00:12] As we go into January, and maybe even February of 2021, parents will be hopeful that Covid-19 can be a thing of the past and have school go somewhat back to normal. With that, there will be some major decisions to be made on whether to enroll your children in daycare or preschool. This inspired today’s episode, so I want to talk all about young children and their needs surrounding socialization. 

[02:52] One fear that I hope this episode alleviates for you today is the reality that peers and friendships are not the keys to your child becoming socialized. What is socialization anyway? From a developmental perspective, socialization is about being able to interact with peers and in society while holding onto one’s true self. 

[04:10] If you want your child to be figuring out who they are and what their interests are, chances are if they socialize very young, they won’t get that chance to solidify their interests. Their interests and likes get mixed in with those peers around them. So remember peers are not the key to early socialization. The assumption that young children need opportunities to interact with peers to learn social skills is a myth. 

[06:28] Children become socialized not through their peer interactions but rather to the adults to whom they are attached to. I know I have talked a lot about attachment and the importance of attachment to children in their development. Children seek to be like their primary attachments. Those attachment figures, ideally parents, are the people who provide a societal blueprint for the children in their care. That is key to children becoming social beings. 

[08:12] Is there a problem with children having too much exposure to peers at a very young age? In Dr. Neufeld's book, “Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers”, he does acknowledge that there can be a problem with this. This is due to them becoming inclined to what Neufeld calls “peer attachment” or “peer-oriented”. This is a social phenomenon he explores in the book. This refers to children becoming more attached to their peers rather than the adults taking care of them. 

[11:38] It is important to recognize what daycares and preschools provide versus what they don’t. They are not a means to socialize your child, and certainly not a means to socialize your child because they will be in the presence of other children. I am not saying to avoid daycares or preschools. However, it’s important to think about what you are getting in this type of environment.

[13:12] A huge positive to the participation in preschools or even parent-child classes is that they can expand the attachment village. This is very important. A lot of times, the teachers can become a nurturing attachment and valued figure to your child. When I was raising my children as they were very little, I did enroll them in preschool. Not necessarily for socialization purposes, but I needed to have blocks of time where my children were not in my care so I could work or attend to other children. 

[15:48] Again, just remember it’s not the peer interaction that will help your child with socialization. It’s the adult who is going to take care of the children. How do they handle problems or nurture the child when they are sad or upset? This is the key. That is the socialization they will be receiving. 

[18:19] I encourage you to take a look at the dynamic and see how the school runs, and how the children interact with themselves as well as teachers. I hope that I’ve relieved some pressure for you that you’ve been feeling regarding having to expose children to peers for socialization. Rest assured, you are what your child needs to reach their potential as a social and well-balanced individual.

 

  


  

Quotes From Episode 59

“As parents of young children, you are going to be making a lot of decisions during those first several years of your child’s life. Things like whether to use a cloth or disposable diapers.”

“When a child feels securely attached to the adults taking care of them, they’re at rest. They don’t need to work for belonging and acceptance.”

“When a child becomes too peer-oriented, they put up defenses towards whoever is getting in the way of their primary attachment.”

“It’s tough to make decisions. You will always come up against conflicting information. I think there is true value in your child being in the preschool or daycare setting as long as you feel the teachers are aligned on this attachment and relationship focus as well.”

“You don’t need to seek out preschools and daycare for your children to become socialized. It can still be a great fit for your family but remember it’s not something you need to do.”

 


 

Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.

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About Your Host

I’m Beaven Walters, your host and guide on this crazy and fulfilling journey as a parent.

As a certified parent coach, parent educator and mom of 4 children, I am passionate about helping parents navigate the tough stuff while maintaining dignity, direction and deep connection in your family relationships.  I have spent over 10 years teaching in a variety of educational settings with multiple age groups, and now I am delighted to bring those experiences to you at home. Throughout this podcast, we will cover topics such as tantrums, sibling conflict, screen time overload and transitioning into the teenage years.

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone.

I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.