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Welcome to the 3D Parent Podcast!

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.

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Discipline With Dignity

May 17, 2021

“Think of the discipline again as a word that is meant to be about leadership.  It requires us as parents to take responsibility for our children and be able to identify what's not working so that we can address it.”

 

On this episode of the 3D Parent Podcast, we will be diving into disciplining your children with dignity.  We will be reviewing the older, more popular ways to discipline your child, discuss why they are hindering your connection with your child, and how to improve your discipline tactics.

 

So what does discipline with dignity mean?  It means disciplining your children through your connection and creating a safe environment for them to work through their emotions when they are met with boundaries or decisions they don’t like.

 

Just keep in mind, this won’t always be easy, but be firm in your boundaries and always work to maintain that connection with your child.


 

Things You Will Learn

[3:44]  Your connection is your most powerful tool in discipline.  The level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the connection they feel with their parents.  This can vary from moment to moment. 

[5:43]  I review older methods of discipline starting with fear based methods.  These methods generally cause alarm, like yelling, spanking and threats.

[8:18]  Another problematic method is separation methods.  This includes time outs, social isolation or threatening to leave without your child.

[11:52]  Another common form of discipline is consequence based methods.  This includes things that look like rewards, like sticker charts, praise for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior and taking away toys and privileges.

[15:02]  Other problematic discipline methods include positive discipline.  This method is actually great for empowering children and overlaps a lot with the 3D parent method, but it encourages kids to always expect a choice.

[19:17]  What is the alternative to these methods?  Discipline with dignity.  Choose methods that won’t damage your relationship with your child.  Focus on building that connection.

[23:19]  Set firm boundaries and enforce them, let your child tantrum, stay with them, but be firm and let them express their emotions.

[30:02]  When trying to direct your child to change their environment or leave a situation or friend's house, connect before you direct.  Bring back the connection with your child before giving them directions.  Or make a game of it.  This works incredibly well for competitive children.

[35:07]  Another way to connect is to be proactive and intentional with your parenting.  Anticipate their needs and meet them before they ask or misbehave.

  


 

Episode Resources

Connection to Parenting by Pam Leo

    Discipline Without Distress by Judy Arnall

   Hold onto Your Kids by Dr. Gordon Neufeld

Quotes From Episode 4

“Your most powerful tool in discipline is your connection, your attachment with your child.”

“So why [are time outs] so damaging, these time types of separation based methods? They're using the child's greatest need, which again is their need for attachment and connection with their primary caregivers, it's using that greatest need against the child and it's playing into their greatest fear of all, which is separation.”

“The first thing I want to encourage you to do is to make a major paradigm shift in the way you see your child when they're acting out, when we see a misbehaving child. I want you to look at this child very differently than you did before. Stop looking at this child as manipulating, as trying to push your buttons instead. See them as frustrated, struggling, hurting, because that's what they are.”

“Think of the discipline again as a word that is meant to be about leadership.  It requires us as parents to take responsibility for our children and be able to identify what's not working so that we can address it.”

 


 

Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.

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About Your Host

I’m Beaven Walters, your host and guide on this crazy and fulfilling journey as a parent.

As a certified parent coach, parent educator and mom of 4 children, I am passionate about helping parents navigate the tough stuff while maintaining dignity, direction and deep connection in your family relationships.  I have spent over 10 years teaching in a variety of educational settings with multiple age groups, and now I am delighted to bring those experiences to you at home. Throughout this podcast, we will cover topics such as tantrums, sibling conflict, screen time overload and transitioning into the teenage years.

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone.

I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.