[00:09] In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I wanted to do something a bit different. It has been one year since the arrival of Covid-19 in the United States, and I thought it would be interesting to reflect on this past year with you. I put out five questions about pandemic parenting on social media and collected responses from you, my listeners. In the episode, I read listeners’ responses to these questions, as well as share my own reflections.

[04:38] The first question was, “What has been the hardest part of parenting this past year?” In the variety of responses, there were some similar themes. Many parents mentioned the struggle of constantly having to disappoint their children as more things got canceled and more things changed. It was incredibly challenging to keep our kids happy, healthy, active, and entertained with little to no social activities. Parents struggled with working from home, balancing their work and family life, and not having breaks. Some parents were diagnosed with Covid-19 themselves, and they struggled to care for their children in the midst of their illness. Many mentioned feeling incredibly tired and burnt out.

[06:53] The second question was, “What has/have been your family’s silver lining(s) in the midst of the pandemic?” The most common theme in the responses to this question was the blessing of seeing our children more. While it is tough to manage keeping children at home with you all day, it’s certainly a blessing as well. Many parents talked about the slowing down of their daily lives. They were amazed at how busy they were before the pandemic. Some parents were thankful for the new opportunity to homeschool their children. Some parents also mentioned having more quality time with spouses as a silver lining.

[10:29] The third question was, “Is there anything you hope to continue when more typical life returns?” Many parents wanted to keep a slower pace of life, knowing when to say no to certain activities. Parents wanted to maintain the quality time they cultivated with their children this year. Some mentioned keeping up with better hygiene habits such as frequent hand washing. Others said that this year was so difficult that there wasn’t anything they wanted to maintain. 

[13:06] The fourth question was, “If you could go back to March 2020 and offer your past self any advice, what would it be?” Some parents said they wished they hadn’t tried to make impossible things happen at the beginning of the pandemic. Some said to be grateful for the quality time with their family. Others mentioned being thankful for the teachers, coaches, and others in their communities who care for their children. Some joked about buying lots of wine and toilet paper. Many parents spoke to the importance of caring for themselves while trying to care for their families.

[15:55] My last question was, “Is there anything you never want to see, do, or hear again (related to parenting)?” Some parents said seeing fear on the faces of children. Many spoke to the difficulty of wearing masks. Some talked about too much screen time and boredom. Others said they never wanted to take a season of their life for granted again. 

[18:22] I am deeply grateful for all of your responses. It was very interesting to hear the reflections from a diverse group of parents. I wanted to share my own responses to these questions. For the first question, the hardest part of pandemic parenting, I would say that I sometimes failed to identify and acknowledge my own needs so that I could make space for my children’s emotional responses to this crisis. To the second question, the silver linings, I would say that my relationships with my children have strengthened, especially my relationship with my 16-year-old daughter. This has been such a blessing.

[21:51] My response to the third question, what I’d like to continue when things are more normal, is forced family togetherness. We took some trips as a family and intentionally went places with weaker wifi so we couldn’t retreat to our screens. I noticed my children growing closer with each other during these forced family times as well. For the fourth question, the advice I’d give myself, I’d say to remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. I’d tell myself to line up sessions with a mental health professional now. 

[24:28] To the last question, what I don’t want to hear anymore is the phrase “unprecedented times” or “uncertain times.” I’m sick of hearing this. It’s been a year. We have a precedent for what pandemic life will be now. It’s going to be crazy. So let’s stop saying that and just try to adjust to the fact that this is life now. We have to accept it and move forward. We also need to remember that ALL of life is uncertain. Not just right now. 

[26:25] I am so thankful to all of you who responded to these questions. It was wonderful to hear your reflections. I hope we can all take something we learned from this past year and implement it into our parenting going forward.