An Introduction to The 3D Parent
Updated: Oct 26, 2019
Welcome to The 3D Parent Blog. I’m Beaven Walters, founder of The
3D Parent. On this blog, I will share tips, inspiration, and insight to
help you find more dignity, direction and deep connection in your
I just filmed my first “Decoding Parenting” segment for our local NBC
affiliate Seattle based news program, King 5 to introduce viewers to
The 3D Parent and also discuss one of the foundational aspects of
The 3D Parent approach—moving beyond a 2D parenting style,
which focuses on surface-level control of behaviors. This looks like
parents trying to coerce good behavior out of their kids and stop
adverse actions through methods like rewards, punishments, bribes,
time-outs and more). Instead, The 3D Parent approach looks at
behavior as a communication. When children are struggling, it often
comes out in an unpleasant response. I encourage parents to look at
their children’s actions with curiosity. As parents, we often are like
scientists, making needed observations and determining the root
causes of our childrens' behaviors.
Here are some questions parents can ask themselves when trying to
decode their child’s behaviors:
1. Why is my child doing this? What unmet need might need addressing?
A need for food
A need for sleep
A need for contact and closeness
A need to vent frustrations from the day
A need for co-regulation (Co-regulation occurs when a trusted adult, like a parent, a caregiver, or teacher, uses their own calm demeanor to connect with a dis-regulated child to help them regulate their emotions and find calm.)
A need for direction/finding something to do
2. Next, name the underlying feeling or need that is driving the behavior.
3. Then meet the need without shaming, blaming or issuing a
Check out my King 5 segment here.
I’m a mom of four and a certified parent coach. I want us to take this
journey together and would love to hear your observations and
thoughts on parenting, child development, your struggles, and successes. Please comment here and follow me on instagram @ the3dparent