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Welcome to the 3D Parent Podcast!

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.

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Solutions To Homework Hassles

May 19, 2021

“I had made it all about me. I had somehow put this in this category of I was going to get judged or I was going to be a bad parent if my child's homework wasn't done, if it wasn't done to my standards and if it wasn't turned in on time.”

 

This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, we are talking about the dreaded homework struggle.  Truth be told, I thought that I would not have a problem supporting my child with her education, but low and behold, my first born gave me a run for my money.

 

Throughout the episode, I share my personal struggle with my child and her homework, and the steps I took to remove myself from the homework equation in an effort to help her become an independent learner and to keep our relationship intact.

 

I also include some tips surrounding how to support your child and provide them with all the necessary tools they may need, without stepping in and bailing them out of figuring it out for themselves.  I would love to know if you try any of these tips and how they work for you!

 


 

Things You Will Learn

[1:27]  This episode is all about supporting your child in their education while maintaining your relationship.  So I open this episode with some background of how I struggled with homework and our relationship with my first born child.

[4:23]  Some things I learned from my experience: first, I was allowing homework to affect my relationship with my daughter.  Second, I wasn’t communicating with my child’s teacher.  Finally, I removed myself from the homework ritual.  I gave my daughter the tools she needed and I stepped back.

[10:59]  Now I have developed a system inspired by a book written by Dr. John Rosemond, called Ending the Homework Hassle.  And what I’ve borrowed is the ABC’s to relieve homework stress.

[11:29]  “A” stands for all by myself.  It is okay for your child to learn at a young age to do homework on their own.  By always jumping in, you’re actually communicating you don’t think they can do it on their own.

[13:01]  When you do back off, set your kids up for success by providing support.  For example, I created a homework survival kit to keep my daughter’s homework and supplies in one place, and I set up a distraction free space for her to work.

[16:37]  “B” stands for back off.  Pretty self explanatory and so key to this process.

[18:10]  Keep in mind, frustration with homework is so common.  The tantrums, meltdowns and tears may have to happen.  Allow them to process this discomfort, comfort them, but don’t bail them out of their homework.

[19:09]  “C” stands for call it quits and communicate with your child's teacher.  Know when you kid is maxed out and it is time to say when.  If a child is spending extended periods of time doing homework, cut them off and communicate with their teacher to try to come up with a solution so your child isn’t becoming overwhelmed or stressed.

[23:59]  “Apostrophe S” stands for save the screens until after homework is complete.  Set up a specified time limit and allow them some time to play, but not before homework.  That time is for a snack, some free play, maybe chores, but no screens.  Homework following screens is going to be incredibly difficult for your child and for you.

(PS.  Keep your eyes out for a whole episode covering screen time coming soon!)

 

  


 

Episode Resources

Link to find directions for How to make a Homework Survival Kit

Ending the Homework Hassle 

Quotes From Episode 13

And of all the things having to do with parenting, the thing that I thought that I would be able to handle the best, that would be the least struggle, was anything having to do with education or supporting my child in their education …”

“I had made it all about me. I had somehow put this in this category of I was going to get judged or I was going to be a bad parent if my child's homework wasn't done, if it wasn't done to my standards and if it wasn't turned in on time.”

“They get the help when they have to take that step to actually come and find you. They sometimes find it within themselves to find a solution on their own. We want to have kids develop this sense of initiative that does not require so much support from parents, unless it's really warranted.”

 


 

Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.

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About Your Host

I’m Beaven Walters, your host and guide on this crazy and fulfilling journey as a parent.

As a certified parent coach, parent educator and mom of 4 children, I am passionate about helping parents navigate the tough stuff while maintaining dignity, direction and deep connection in your family relationships.  I have spent over 10 years teaching in a variety of educational settings with multiple age groups, and now I am delighted to bring those experiences to you at home. Throughout this podcast, we will cover topics such as tantrums, sibling conflict, screen time overload and transitioning into the teenage years.

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone.

I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.