Confessions Of A Parent Coach Who Is In The Parenting Trenches
May 18, 2021
“ … my kids are faced with all these challenges, which causes emotional reactions in them, which can sometimes trigger emotional reactions in me. And so I'm not always executing where my intentions are as a parent. I'm not always able to reach the standard I set for myself and my parenting. But here's the thing, I'm OK with that. I'm human. I am not a robot. I don't always do things perfectly.”
This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, I am taking you on a little journey of how I got to where I am today as a parent coach. My fears surrounding taking parent coaching on as a career, and how I coach myself when I realize my parenting isn’t aligning with my intentions as a parent.
I will be sharing some of my best tips and tricks to help you gut check yourself as a parent, as well as giving you a glimpse into my everyday life and struggle as a parent of four. I’m not perfect, I am human just like you, striving to be the best parent I can be for my children. Sometimes I miss the mark, and that is okay, as long as I learn and try to do better.
Things You Will Learn
[0:53] In this episode, I am pulling back the curtain on my own parenting struggles. I’ve shared that I have four beautiful children, and some days I have great parenting days. Other days, I really struggle. I am definitely not a perfect parent.
[3:03] When I started this journey, pursuing a career as a parent coach scared me. I had this fear that I’d be held to a higher standard as a parent, and therefore, if I made a mistake or let my emotions get the better of me, I’d be judged more harshly.
[5:42] My point is, I’m not perfect. I can react emotionally to my kids' reactions. I don’t always reach the standard I set for myself as a parent. But what is more important is I can admit when I’ve messed up, and I can set the intention to do better.
[9:02] I also had a fear that my kids would be judged and held to a higher standard if I pursued a career as a parent coach. But I realized, that was really my ego talking. Our children are who they are, their behavior isn’t a reflection on us as parents, it is them trying to communicate what they need.
[17:21] Now, I want to share how I use what I’ve learned as a coach to try to show up as a better parent. The first step is to set parenting intentions that you can always refer yourself back to. It helps you recognize your mistakes so you can do better by your own standards.
[19:59] I also create mantras for myself that align with my intentions, and help me show up in alignment with my intentions.
[20:41] I also know, when my parenting is off, it may be a sign I need more sleep, or need to eat better. Maybe I need to make some time to exercise regularly or see friends. If I’m not taking care of myself, of course parenting will be challenging.
[21:59] This may be morose, but I also try to think about what I’d like my kids to say about me at my funeral. I’m always so moved by what children have to say about their parents when I am asked to sing at a funeral.
[23:28] My final tip is to deepen my own caring feelings about my children, especially when they have been less loveable. How do I do this? I try to empathize with them and put myself in their shoes. I also will sometimes just go watch them sleep. There is nothing more precious than a sleeping child.
Quotes From Episode 15
“ … it gives me a chance to kind of reflect on my parenting and times when I felt like I was dialed in and parenting in a way that I was very proud of. And times when that was not the case.”
“ … my kids are faced with all these challenges, which causes emotional reactions in them, which can sometimes trigger emotional reactions in me. And so I'm not always executing where my intentions are as a parent. I'm not always able to reach the standard I set for myself and my parenting. But here's the thing, I'm OK with that. I'm human. I am not a robot. I don't always do things perfectly.”
“ … it's not about being a perfect parent. It's about showing up for our kids and having good intentions … “
“ … my kids, they're human. They come with their own temperaments and their own challenges and they're making mistakes. And I'm trying to navigate and support them on their journeys. But they're not going to be perfect and I'm not going to put that pressure on them, that is not fair.”
Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.
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