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My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.

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Raising Kids In A Screen-Filled World Part 1: How Much And How Often

May 19, 2021

This week on the 3D Parent Podcast, I'm going to dive into an overdue topic, raising kids in a screen-filled world. It has become one of the most prevalent topics that parents think about, and probably will continue to do so. I'm going to share personal narratives, as well as questions to ask yourself, in terms of how to deal with screen time in your household.

 

We will go over topics such as:

  • My family’s journey on navigating the screen-filled world including the highs and lows
  • My personal insights, reflections, and learning in dealing with screen time
  • Essential questions you need ask yourself when it comes to deciding your family’s rules and regulations on screen time

 

There is not a one size fits all recommendation in terms of dealing with a screen-filled world. Each situation will look a bit different for each family, so remember that the decision on screen time and gadget-restrictions should always depend on what works for you and your family members. As this is only the first part of this particular topic, feel free to share your particular concerns so we can address that in upcoming episodes.

 


 

Things You Will Learn

[00:49] Nothing has dominated the conversation between my husband and I, when it comes to raising our kids, more than today’s topic: Raising Kids in a Screen-Filled World. I’ve intended to tackle this topic ever since I started this podcast because there are a lot of different opinions and recommendations going around with the topic of screen time. And as we became the first generation of parents who are “digital immigrants”, there is no clear-cut path and definitive answer concerning this topic.

[01:36] There is a documentary right now that is getting a lot of attention, The Social Dilemma. This particular document offers enlightenment for its viewers regarding the impact of social media in human behavior. Another fantastic documentary I recommend is Screenagers. It’s a great starter if you want to delve into this topic, and you could also invite your older kids to watch with you.

[04:09] I’ve delayed this topic for so long, and mainly due to the unprecedented pandemic. Parents are not exactly thrilled to hear the negative impacts of screen time, and that’s understandable considering the overwhelming challenges we faced (or currently facing) due to the pandemic. But like I did, we have to continue adapting to the so-called ‘new normal’ kicks in.

[08:17] As I started parenting 17 years ago, I was honestly fearful of the negative impacts of the screen. Before the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended 0% screen time. But throughout the years, I let my guard down, and I started to utilize screen time which was a necessity for my large family. Years later, American Academy pediatrics loosened up from 0% screen time to small amounts.

[15:37] Up to this date, finding the right balance and health mixture of screen time is still a challenge even for me. We’ve done a long list of  screen regulations in our family and it’s still challenging. So don’t feel pressured and don’t set unrealistic expectations for you or your children. 

[20:22] At the sixth weeks of the lockdown, I just kind of broke down and I stumbled upon a post from one of my favorite people, Glennon Doyle. She delivered what I needed to hear during that time: a huge dose of permission. She gave me permission to break all of the rules and shame I was putting on myself when it came to screen time. I remember telling myself, all of the things I was shaming myself are not applicable during a worldwide pandemic. But entering the eight month of the quarantine period, I gained better perspective and commitment to sort out my pandemic-screen time mentality.

[26:59] At this point, I’m going to provide you questions that you need to ask yourself when determining how much screen time is applicable for your family and when to permit screen time.

[27:13] Question 1: How much screen time are your kids consuming? Afterwards, evaluate whether you’re comfortable with that amount. If yes, great. If not, ask yourself how much screen time would make you feel better and healthier.

[29:17] Next, ask yourself, how do my kids behave when they hit the limit for screen time? This will portray the dynamics between a parent and a child, and shows the current status of your connection.

[32:46] When are you permitting screen time? Figure out if it’s the right time to set screen time. Remember, it is never the right time when it is followed by a period of separation between you and your child. It’s because kids will develop a faux connection with digital and media devices instead of developing parent-child connection.

[34:56] Also ask yourself if your kids are able to find answers to boredom outside their media devices. Remember, the power of play is not optional. So you may want to consider that when setting limitations on screen time.

[39:06] As I’ve mentioned, this is only the first part of what I intend to be a series for the topic Raising Kids in a Screen-Filled World. I would love to hear your particular concerns, challenges, and roadblocks when it comes to navigating screen time with your families so hopefully I can also address that on my upcoming episodes.

 

  


 

Episode Resources

The Social Dilemma: A Documentary-Drama Film

Screenagers: Growing Up in the Social Media Age

Glennon Doyle: How to Make Your Kids Social Geniuses During Corona 

Quotes From Episode 55

“We are the first generation of parents who are so-called digital immigrants. We are raising the first generation of digital natives and there is no clear cut path. There is no one answer.”

“I'm not going to be providing you with a prescribed amount or an exact time for your family. That is your work. There is not a one size fits all that I can provide for you. That is not possible and everything is going to look a bit different for every family.”

“If your child plugged themselves into the screen first thing in the morning, you’re missing the opportunity to fill up their attachment needs with your human connection.”

“The power and importance of play is not optional. Play is not superfluous, play is essential to your child's development.”

“Don't punish your child. Don't threaten them when it comes to the way they behave. When you remove the screens, use that as information and use that as an impetus to make change and go in a different direction.”

“The 3D parent way is determining what is the root cause of a child's behavior and not punishing them from their behavior, but decoding and addressing that behavior.”

 


 

Let's work together! I provide 1:1 support for parents motivated to make positive changing in their parenting and gain confidence and increase fulfillment in their role as parents. If this sounds like it might be what you've been looking for, book a free consultation today.

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About Your Host

I’m Beaven Walters, your host and guide on this crazy and fulfilling journey as a parent.

As a certified parent coach, parent educator and mom of 4 children, I am passionate about helping parents navigate the tough stuff while maintaining dignity, direction and deep connection in your family relationships.  I have spent over 10 years teaching in a variety of educational settings with multiple age groups, and now I am delighted to bring those experiences to you at home. Throughout this podcast, we will cover topics such as tantrums, sibling conflict, screen time overload and transitioning into the teenage years.

My goal is to provide you with tools that help inform, empower and boost your confidence as a parent so you can make the best decisions possible for you and your family.  Parenting is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone.

I am here to guide you through the 3D Parent approach to parenting, so you can stop struggling and start celebrating all of the time you have with your children.