MELTDOWN-FREE SHOPPING TRIPS WITH KIDS
I am so happy you have found the 3D Parent Podcast. My name is Beaven Walters, and I am your host. Before I created the 3D Parent, I spent over 10 years teaching in various educational settings. I have always had a passion for working with children. After my first child was born, and not too long after my second, I discovered I was truly passionate about parenting in a way that worked for my children. So, I became a certified parent coach to help not only myself, but other parents who were struggling through a tough season in parenting just like me.
This podcast was created with the parent in mind. I am going to be covering the 3D Parent method and systems, so you can gain tangible tools to help you bring dignity, direction and deep connection to your family dynamic. My goal is to help you become the most confident parent you can be, and feel empowered in your parenting choices.
THINGS YOU WILL LEARN IN EP. 17: MELTDOWN-FREE SHOPPING TRIPS WITH KIDS
[0:11] This episode is all about tips for making it through that grocery shopping trip meltdown-free. This topic comes up pretty regularly in my parent coaching sessions, so I thought it would be valuable to provide some tips around this topic on the podcast.
[1:17] The first thing you want to keep in mind when you need to go shopping with your kids, is to have a plan in mind for your trip. Those trips where you don’t plan for having your kids along are usually the ones that go ary. It is also important to communicate this plan to your children so they know what to expect.
[3:29] It is also important to communicate your children’s proximity to you as you navigate the store. Will someone be in the cart? Will they need to keep one hand on the cart at all times? Or are they okay to walk freely?
[5:21] The next important tip I have for you is to give your kids jobs. By engaging your children in the shopping process, it is less likely that they will get out of hand or lose focus. I encourage you to even make it a game if your children are old enough.
[7:31] Now, what happens when your children request items that are not on your list. I find this happens less in grocery stores and more in stories like Target, where there are toys and clothes. What I try to tell my kids is that we’ll put that on a wish list for their birthday. Do I always follow through on purchasing these items? Occasionally, but more often than not, no. The idea that their desires have been acknowledged though, can sometimes prevent tantrums.
[11:45] By the same token, tantrums are sometimes unavoidable. No can be very difficult for children to hear, and the younger they are the less they understand. So when you do have those trips where your child is just melting down, it is better for everyone to plan to just leave and let them regroup, and come back later or another day.
[12:36] Another area where parents often lose focus on their children is in the check out line. This can make this part of the trip particularly difficult, so some tips for this part of your trip would be to pick a magazine and talk about it with your child. Show them photos and have little conversations. Another thing you can do is play games with them, like I Spy. Then when it is time to unload, let your kids help with that. This keeps them busy and gives them a job.
[14:07] I just want to note, I do resist using my phone as a distraction as a last resort. If I’ve gone through my bag of tricks and I still need to finish checking out, I will give them my phone, but I will always set the expectation of only playing a few games or for a few minutes until we get through the line. Same for breaking into the snacks you’ve gotten them; it’s a last resort to get through the line.
[15:42] I also highly encourage you to spend as little time as possible in the store. Go with a plan, keep a pretty steady pace, get in and get out. Kids tend to get tired and when they get tired things can go south fast, but if you keep them focused and move through with a purpose, you’re more likely to have a more pleasant experience.
[16:20] If you are one of those parents who has had notoriously stressful trips to the store, I want to encourage you to not completely avoid it. When you know you are going for shorter trips, take your kids with you. This increases your chances for success and also gets your kids used to taking these trips.
QUOTES FROM MELTDOWN-FREE SHOPPING TRIPS WITH KIDS
“I consider shopping by myself, grocery shopping or other errands, to be almost a form of self-care because it's so much easier when you don't have kids along for the ride.”
“Give them jobs and engage them in the process to keep them interested, keep them from running around and find their own ways to entertain them. If they're engaged in the process, less likely they're going to be causing problems.”
“ … if you start then threatening your child or saying, I'm going to take things away from you and punishing them because you're feeling like maybe you're embarrassed or there's people looking at you and viewing and judging your parenting, you're usually not going to be parenting from your intuition and supporting your child in a way that can be most beneficial.”
EPISODES TO FURTHER THE DISCUSSION:
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