CONFESSIONS OF A PARENT COACH WHO IS IN THE PARENTING TRENCHES
I am so happy you have found the 3D Parent Podcast. My name is Beaven Walters, and I am your host. Before I created the 3D Parent, I spent over 10 years teaching in various educational settings. I have always had a passion for working with children. After my first child was born, and not too long after my second, I discovered I was truly passionate about parenting in a way that worked for my children. So, I became a certified parent coach to help not only myself, but other parents who were struggling through a tough season in parenting just like me.
This podcast was created with the parent in mind. I am going to be covering the 3D Parent method and systems, so you can gain tangible tools to help you bring dignity, direction and deep connection to your family dynamic. My goal is to help you become the most confident parent you can be, and feel empowered in your parenting choices.
THINGS YOU WILL LEARN IN EP. 15: CONFESSIONS OF A PARENT COACH WHO IS IN THE PARENTING TRENCHES
[0:53] In this episode, I am pulling back the curtain on my own parenting struggles. I’ve shared that I have four beautiful children, and some days I have great parenting days. Other days, I really struggle. I am definitely not a perfect parent.
[3:03] When I started this journey, pursuing a career as a parent coach scared me. I had this fear that I’d be held to a higher standard as a parent, and therefore, if I made a mistake or let my emotions get the better of me, I’d be judged more harshly.
[5:42] My point is, I’m not perfect. I can react emotionally to my kids' reactions. I don’t always reach the standard I set for myself as a parent. But what is more important is I can admit when I’ve messed up, and I can set the intention to do better.
[9:02] I also had a fear that my kids would be judged and held to a higher standard if I pursued a career as a parent coach. But I realized, that was really my ego talking. Our children are who they are, their behavior isn’t a reflection on us as parents, it is them trying to communicate what they need.
[17:21] Now, I want to share how I use what I’ve learned as a coach to try to show up as a better parent. The first step is to set parenting intentions that you can always refer yourself back to. It helps you recognize your mistakes so you can do better by your own standards.
[19:59] I also create mantras for myself that align with my intentions, and help me show up in alignment with my intentions.
[20:41] I also know, when my parenting is off, it may be a sign I need more sleep, or need to eat better. Maybe I need to make some time to exercise regularly or see friends. If I’m not taking care of myself, of course parenting will be challenging.
[21:59] This may be morose, but I also try to think about what I’d like my kids to say about me at my funeral. I’m always so moved by what children have to say about their parents when I am asked to sing at a funeral.
[23:28] My final tip is to deepen my own caring feelings about my children, especially when they have been less loveable. How do I do this? I try to empathize with them and put myself in their shoes. I also will sometimes just go watch them sleep. There is nothing more precious than a sleeping child.
QUOTES FROM CONFESSIONS OF A PARENT COACH WHO IS IN THE PARENTING TRENCHES
“ … it gives me a chance to kind of reflect on my parenting and times when I felt like I was dialed in and parenting in a way that I was very proud of. And times when that was not the case.”
“ … my kids are faced with all these challenges, which causes emotional reactions in them, which can sometimes trigger emotional reactions in me. And so I'm not always executing where my intentions are as a parent. I'm not always able to reach the standard I set for myself and my parenting. But here's the thing, I'm OK with that. I'm human. I am not a robot. I don't always do things perfectly.”
“ … it's not about being a perfect parent. It's about showing up for our kids and having good intentions … “
“ … my kids, they're human. They come with their own temperaments and their own challenges and they're making mistakes. And I'm trying to navigate and support them on their journeys. But they're not going to be perfect and I'm not going to put that pressure on them, that is not fair.”
EPISODES TO FURTHER THE DISCUSSION:
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LISTENING …
Thank you so much for taking the time to check out the 3D Parent Podcast. Do you have a parenting question for an upcoming episode? I would LOVE to connect with you and answer your questions. Please share your parenting question here!